- ?American Typhus?
With a self-reflexive homage to Grant Wood’s American Gothic I dub my latest work of art, “American Typhus.”
It will be included as part of my highly influential gallery show, “Your Tattoo Looks Like Ass, But Not Ass Pear” to be held at the Guggenheim Museum in New York in 2023.
- Breaking: California Plastic ?Bag Ban Overturned
In June we learned of the exiting plan that California had banned all plastic ‘bags from supermarkets.
We’d hoped that banning plastic ‘bags from clubs, bars, tanning salons and dating your future daughter were coming next.
But, alas, the bill has been overturned.
- Pinky and the Butt
Okay.
Had my coffee.
Slightly more coherent now than that last post.
And my coherence leads me to one sinuous statment: Lick my toejam, Dan Fogelbag.
Rocker Choads with semi-bands are the reason Los Angeles smells like warm feet.
But, on the flip, Ass Pear sings rainbow chipmunk harmonics even when threatening the dreaded “future [...]
- The Utersladder
One of the vilest form of clubchoads is the “Utersladder.” In Flemish, Utersladder means “to languidly rub one’s genitals on a vonklumpenspiel.”
A vonklumenspiel, as any scholar of Gaelic antiquity surely knows, is a small, wooden rabbit or possum penis.
Because rabbits and possums can be very insecure after breeding season, and vonkumpenspiels [...]
- Neil Hardy?s Kegger at Moms Rages On
Earlier this week we met Neil Hardy, Jr. Douchebag, the whitest gangsta, and distant relation to the Hardy Plague.
Here he is busting the bling and gangsta pose while his moms is out of town as he pulls all the local hotts from the greater Des Moines area.
While Nottabrothabag Pete chills, and Uberhott Heather causes puppies [...]
- Caption This Pic
As Eddie watched the Land-o-Lakes Summer Carnival descend into a hedonistic bacchanal, only one thought comforted him: “I really like pudding.”
- ?Is She Really Going Out With Him?? Marathon on MTV on Thursday
If you haven’t had a chance to check out the HCwDB show yet, they’re running a marathon of the best eps from seasons #1 and #2 on Thursday on MTV, so checkitout:
3:00 PM ET/PT on MTV
3:30 PM ET/PT on MTV
4:00 PM ET/PT on MTV
4:30 PM ET/PT on MTV
5:00 PM ET/PT on MTV
5:30 PM ET/PT on [...]
- HCwDB of the Week: Tendon Ted and Ass Pear Annie
Exploiding groin veins. Sleeve tatts. And curvy female buttitude. Together, they make HCwDB of the Week.
The voters speak:
Ultra Bagnus: Tendon Ted FTW. Beacuse his permanent scowl is a direct result of his asymetric abs. And yet somehow, he pulls in a pear like Annie? Yes, that is douche power on [...]
- Douchebaguette Dance
Healthy, fertile booty. Ubiquitous White Belt. Total Bleeth.
And Zeus wept.
- Suburban Gangsta Darren Says ?Check My Chin Pubes, Dawg!?
Because, yo, his tracks is about to break, dog!! Just two thousand more hits on iTunes and it’ll be all off the shizz!! He’s talkin’ poppin’ bottles with Paris at the Palms n shint!!
Meanwhile, Carly might have scary Long Island crazy eyes, but her twin globes beckon with the pale cleavite of eternal [...]
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