- Don't you hate it when you're out having a few drinks with people you know and you end up standing on a table without your pants, cursing at people? Tends to ruin your sister's wedding, you know? [Amusing]
- Photoshop this giver [Photoshop]
- Clear your desks, the Fark Weird News Quiz will challenge your knowledge of what happened in the last week and simultaneously determine how busy you were at work [Survey]
- What is the funniest protest sign you have seen? "Descent is the greatest form of patriotism" is subs personal fav [Misc]
- Gas pumps have now become self-aware, and they're robbing you too [Interesting]
- Hey, Hey, Hey, could a "fat tax" be heading our way to cure America's obesity problem? [Interesting]
- For those still laughing at Borat's walking chair joke, here are a collection of Kazakh jokes that will similarly leave you rolling in the aisles [Strange]
- Network TV execs are very unhappy about Dish TV's new DVR that automatically skips commercials while recording-so they're refusing to run any Dish TV ads that tell you about the new service [Amusing]
- [tag] + penis = NO PENIS [Florida]
- Actually, Virginia GOP legislator Bob Marshall, sodomy is a civil right [Followup]
- New poll claims only 9% of Americans are willing to participate in polls [Ironic]
- The new French Prime Minister is such an "ai-roh" [Amusing]
- '9/11 dust' is thought to have killed Donna Summer [Followup]
- Seriously, who is able to steal 110 feet of railroad tracks? [Strange]
- TV news anchor accused of stealing his neighbor's patio chairs, carpet, and scotch [Florida]
- Zimmerman photos from the night of the incident detailing his injuries, and the 183 pages of court documents, for those who still care, have no life [Followup]
- Ready for Fark journalism: "Police said Rachel George spat on, cursed at and kicked officers while they attempted to make her sit, and Sgt. Sean Duffy injured himself striking her in the face" [Amusing]
- Humongous Volkswagen-sized turtle fossils discovered, not expected to be part of Michael Bay's turtle movie, we hope [Cool]
- Man who sewed son's buttocks shut avoids any time in the hole [Followup]
- You know it's a slow news day if you read about a school board deciding that a children's book is borderline porn, with art from the book for you to decide if it is [Stupid]
- Contrarian take on Facebook IPO: "You'd be better off investing in Greek government bonds". Facebook IPO discussion thread [Interesting]
- It's easy to think UFO 'summoner' Robert Bingham is a crackpot for predicting a mass sighting on Saturday in LA. Except, he's done it before. And it worked [Strange]
- Airport security to German politician: "Sorry sir, but you can't bring that axe on a plane" [Silly]
- ESPN releases memo on how to treat the 2012 election: "sarcasm, one-liners, perceived endorsements, attempts at humor or political criticism should be avoided." Sweet sassy molassy, BOO YAAA BOO YAA BOOYAA BOOOYAAAA [Interesting]
- Federal Judge to DOJ: You know that part of the NDA that lets you indefinitely detain anyone you think is "supporting" terrorism? Yeah, the 1st Amendment has a problem with that [Spiffy]
- Møøse reboots Logan's Run, seeks sanctuary, but ran right into the Sandman [Interesting]
- Minute Maid labels beverage 'Pomegranate Blueberry' despite only having 0.3% pomegranate juice and 0.2% blueberry juice. Judge: Drink up [Followup]
- You may find yourself in a strange burial plot, wearing a stranger's clothes. And you might say, these are not my beautiful clothes. And you may ask yourself, how did I get it here? But probably not because you are dead [Fail]
- If you're going to say you're too injured to work, you probably shouldn't get caught running various long-distance races and triathlons. "Her race times also improved after the claimed injury" [Florida]
- NV state lawmaker who ran on a "family values" platform and sent out a mailing attacking her opponent's wife for wearing a dress that was too revealing is now trying to win the Maxim "Hot 100" bikini contest [Dumbass]
- Man sues company for $50,000 because he got attacked by geese. The geese could not be found for questioning [Asinine]
- Help me, Prudence, you're my only hope. My mom let me play with her breasts for years after I stopped breast-feeding, and now she's doing it with my sister. How do I stop it? [Spiffy]
- The only thing more disgusting than these cupcake sausages is how much Subby wants to eat them [Sick]
- Really want to quit smoking? Give me your money, and I'll give it back to you once a blood test proves you're nicotine free [Obvious]
- It's your official Let's Pity Chicagoans Affected by the NATO summit discussion thread [PSA]
- The four personality styles of drivers and what it means about how they handle a car. Hint: three of them translate to "asshole" [Interesting]
- Florida evangelist "Apostle Tito" is targeted by members of "Satan's team", or as the rest of us would put it, is arraigned in federal court on child molestation charges [Florida]
- Time Warner Cable employee absolutely shocked to find his co-workers watching porn. Hopes $2 million will help him get over the trauma [Asinine]
- Six shot, three dead in Louisville. If only there had been an armed citizen nearby we could have prevented this tragedy [Scary]
- Florida lowers passing grade for state writing exam. Mississippi: "We can do that?" [Florida]
- Tiny state famous for being tiny spends $75 million on a baseball player to develop a video game. Game over, man, game over [Followup]
- Republican committee, many of whose members live hundreds of miles from DC, hold meeting to discuss DC abortion rights. Bonus: Do not allow DC's only (non-voting) representative to speak. Super bonus: She's a woman [Obvious]
- Has anyone seen my Spiro Agnew collector's edition cufflinks? They were here yesterday. They didn't just get up and walk away people. They are worth a lot of money you jerks [Interesting]
- Hell hath no yard sale like a woman scorned [Amusing]
- Photoshop a recruitment poster for Fark [Photoshop]
- Exceedingly creepy man arrested for hanging plastic bags full of porn & dildos on young women's doors, then standing outside their apts and fogging up their windows with his breath. Bonus: He looks vaguely like a grown up Butt-head [Scary]
- Hot woman arrested for having sex in a taxi. With pic of the kind of woman who likes to do it in a taxi [Obvious]
- Gladiator Fire now at 6500 acres. Nitro, Zap, Blaze inconsolable [Scary]
- Man gives sucky TED talk. TED opts not to publish the talk. Man goes full media censorship outrage troll. Internet falls for it hook, line, and sinker [Stupid]
- The sex-tourism capital of the world protests Lady Gaga's shows as too provocative. Wait, what? [Ironic]
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